Skeptical? So was I, for most of my life.
I could not even grasp the concept of “changing my perspective”. First of all, people toss that phrase around like it’s easy to transform neural pathways that were formed during your development and negative stories that were reinforced over and over throughout your life. Whether you were the one unconsciously creating situations that reinforced them or not, it happened, and it only furthered your misery, depression, anxiety, low self-confidence, insecurity, lack of self-worth … or anything else you’ve suffered from that I haven’t named.
I’ve struggled with the notion of learning how to think positively many times throughout my own life. It literally felt like an impossibility to emerge from the depressive rut I lived in, my moods mostly ranging from “just okay” to suicidal. I hardly ever experienced real joy. I thought it was something that more functional people felt, that I was so irrevocably broken that there was no hope for me in this world.
So yeah, I get it if you don’t think you have the capacity to shift your life and find possibilities for yourself. But I’m also here to tell you that you’re wrong. Every single person on this planet can accomplish this, no matter what you think. But you’ve got to open yourself up to new possibilities and commit yourself wholeheartedly to change.
And, perhaps most importantly, when it gets uncomfortable and scary and tough, you have to push through and push on anyway.
That’s as much a reminder to myself as it is to you.
I can’t tell you what your personal journey looks like. Everyone is different. I can tell you what helped me to adjust my belief about my own possibilities – knowledge. When I began to read scientifically proven information about trauma, neurology, and how our bodies store our history, it gave me hope. When I began to understand that my behaviors are simply explainable products of my life thus far, not hopeless flaws or indicators that I’m broken, it freed me.
I never knew that I could separate my emotions and my unhealthy patterns from my SELF. Believing that I was my emotions, I lived in service to their every whim, and thought of myself as a hopeless mess. Now that I understand that my self is the constant, and my emotions come and go, I approach my life from a place of personal power that I didn’t know existed.
What if you decided enough is enough and that you want to live a joyful life before it’s too late?
You can do this. Recruit help, whatever assistance you may need on your path. Open yourself up to hope and possibility and you’ll find it actually can exist for you. You can learn to choose joy, even if right now you don’t even understand how. I didn’t either – but I also knew I couldn’t bear to live in misery any longer.
You’re wonderful, and you are loved. Until next time, you got this.