Let’s be real – learning to love yourself is a hell of a difficult journey when you’ve fumbled in the darkness for so long.
I understand if it initially feels ridiculous to speak affirmations into the mirror or chant self-love mantras in your head while you go about your day. I’ve always wanted so badly to love myself, but a few months ago the mere idea seemed impossible. If I’d gone into a healing program at that point, I absolutely would’ve been the woman in the corner rolling my eyes and muttering sarcastic comments – to shield myself against completely falling apart.
If you, like me, are in a stuck place, at a loss for where to even begin, you aren’t alone. In fact, I’d argue that most of the people on this planet feel stuck or trapped in one way or another. This is an incredibly freeing realization. Everyone is scared. Everyone feels alone. Everyone longs for connection and understanding. Seriously, even the people you think have their shit together – they don’t. I promise you.
Most humans are in one of three basic positions:
– Full of unhealed pain and trauma, but oblivious to their need for healing … except for the fact that they are persistently unhappy and imbalanced and don’t know why
– Full of unhealed pain and trauma and aware of it, but with no idea how to begin the healing process
– Full of unhealed pain and trauma, aware of it, and actively engaged in constructive healing modalities
Look, everyone has baggage. The people who act like they don’t are usually the most fragile and insecure. That’s how I was. I knew I had wounds to heal but I was terrified to look at them. I felt afraid and alone, so I pretended to be fine. That’s what we do. Our brains are wired to protect us and to help us survive, and so we follow our brains instead of dropping in – in to our bodies, our intuition, our hearts. Dropping in terrifies us, and so we resist.
If you are lost in the dark, insecure and disconnected, I’m willing to bet that you have a soft, tender heart that feels like it must be protected at all costs. You do one of two things – you give your love away, hoping that by doing so you’ll get some back, or you keep it under lock and key so that theoretically no one can hurt you.
These two tactics have one thing in common. You are not giving yourself any of that beautiful love that you inherently carry.
You, lovely soul, have so much heart. You are yearning for love, for connection. What if you could learn to turn that sweet tenderness inward and feed your own needs? Everything you desire lives inside you, even if you absolutely don’t believe that in this moment. Your fears do not negate the fact that you carry all the love you require.
Let’s journey together towards understanding how to give ourselves the nourishment we give away so freely to others.
Until next time, I love you. I believe in you. If I can begin the journey towards loving myself, I know you can too.