We so frequently focus on our flaws rather than our beauty.

I’m not talking about external beauty, though you may certainly have plenty of it. I’m speaking of the inner qualities that make you the magical individual you are now and have always been. I mean the quiet loveliness that you hold within you but perhaps don’t often shine a light upon, conditioned instead to judge yourself for anything that’s less than perfect.

It’s easy to bend to the critical voices inside your mind, letting them rule you, feeling guilty over every little mistake and imperfection. Maybe you live in that space perpetually without even realizing the effect it has on you.

I know that I have been prey to my inner critic for most of my life, and I’m just now beginning to recognize it, let alone silence it. For me, the crucial step was learning to differentiate between myself and that voice. I never knew before that it isn’t me, but a product of my conditioning, my upbringing and the way that the adults around me affected me as a child. It only grew stronger as I became older and continued to feed it with habitual behaviors, staying unknowingly stuck in self-sabotaging patterns and beliefs.

What a breakthrough it was to realize, with the help of my therapist, that I am not that awful critic inside me! It can only wield as much power as I give it. It’s almost funny that though I estranged myself from my mother at the age of sixteen, her criticism and judgment of me lives on in my head.

Well, no more. It’s not a simple task to eradicate the voice, but I’m working on it, little by little. I’m choosing to focus on all my positive qualities and reminding myself of them when the critic tries to chime in and bring me down. I am so much more than my imperfections. I’m a beautiful, unique, loving creation of the universe. So are you.

When you hear that judgment creeping in, do what you can to silence it. Remind yourself of who you are, because it’s not the voice in your head that tells you you’re doing everything wrong. You are a precious being. There is only one of you in this world, and you are not a mistake. I promise you that. You are not a mistake. You are doing the best you can, and you can nurture self-love until it thrives within you.

Make a list for yourself of everything wonderful about you so that you can read it to remind yourself when you’re feeling down. If you don’t feel good about yourself right now, ask the people who love you to give you some examples to use. Read this list all the time. Repeat it out loud to yourself. Do this until you start to believe it. Keep doing it until the knowledge of your beauty resides in your bones.

You can learn to cherish and celebrate your lovely qualities. I’m rooting for you. Think of what a wonderful world it would be if we all loved ourselves more. You matter, and you are precious. I love you. You got this.