Without darkness, there is no light.
We’ve all heard some variation on this sentiment, but how often do we actually listen to it?
Sure, it sounds well and good until you have to face the idea that your darkness is not only part of you, but an essential part. That the positive does not exist if there is no negative to compare. That your darkness actually isn’t a negative at all, but simply a contrast, another element of your being.
But you weren’t taught that, right? Almost no one grows up with a healthy mindset about so-called flaws and shortcomings. No, no, you were most likely raised to try harder and be better and feel shame over anything that isn’t part of the silently agreed-upon standard.
Why are we trained to live our entire lives in denial of crucial facets that comprise our beings? It’s exhausting, fighting against the shadow self – not to mention pointless. We are who we are, and we can either accept, even celebrate, ourselves in entirety, or continue suppressing ourselves until we lose our fucking minds. It’s so stupid. It makes me angry, if you can’t tell already. I’m angry that it took me thirty years to learn this, and that so many of us are in the same situation because we grew up in a world that tells us something is wrong with us because we exist.
You are not perfect, nor should you strive for perfection. Perfection is an illusion. It absolutely does not exist, so instead of punishing yourself for the rest of your life for not attaining an impossible goal, what if you do something revolutionary instead? What if you decide to love and proudly own every part of yourself, darkness, light, and all the shades in between?
Your darkness is not repulsive. It makes up the most fascinating, unique parts of you. How boring and tiresome it would be if you were all light and nothing else. Dimension creates complexity. We are not made to be one layer. We are not made to exist inside the boundaries that we’ve unconsciously created around ourselves.
You can move towards a space where you begin accepting your own shadow side. Surround yourself with supportive humans who love you – all of you. Get curious about why you are the way you are instead of condemning yourself for it. This is part of the essential work of getting to a place of self-acceptance and self-love. I believe in you. You can do this.