What If You Get Curious About What You’re Resisting?

It’s where we resist the most that we need to give the most attention.

What areas of your life bring up resistance in your body and mind? Where don’t you want to go with yourself? What are those darker, secretive places that you’d rather leave locked away than access?

First of all, I want to remind you that everyone has these same struggles. We all have embarrassment, shame, and guilt. These aren’t new emotions to anyone – and if someone insists they don’t feel them, they are either in denial or deeply detached from themselves in a way that requires additional work. The sooner we all start putting everything out into the open, the sooner we heal. By becoming honest, vulnerable, and doing the work, we in turn help each other by standing in solidarity. The more often people see you standing in your own truth, the more comfortable they will feel to do the same around you.

And by doing this, we gradually create a domino effect that can heal the world. So, if you’re one of those who feels selfish when you take the time you need, I say this: you are not. You are doing essential work for the well-being of everyone else. I hope that helps you relax into listening to your body and what you truly need without any shame about it.

Start paying attention to what comes up for you physically when you face the difficult areas of your life. These will be different for everyone, so honor your personal experience. So many of us are unaccustomed to feeling what our bodies are telling us, so take time and be patient with yourself. When you feel stuck, frustrated, or resist going towards something within you, stop. Sit with it. Let yourself be uncomfortable, and ask yourself, why? What is happening here?

Most of the time there is deep pain that needs to be healed and we don’t want to dig into it because we are afraid that if we do, we’ll never come out again. I know it’s scary, because I have the same struggles that everyone else does. I also know, from experience, that continuing to ignore and bury your trauma will never – and I mean never – heal it.

So what if you can look objectively at this resistance and examine it with compassion and curiosity rather than self-judgment and blame? What if instead of trying to fix yourself or ignoring the problem altogether, you notice that it’s there and then give yourself the space to feel? It’s the softest gesture you can make towards yourself, but it’s difficult to simply let go, so give yourself time to allow this unfamiliar action to integrate.

Walk towards what you want to hide from – that’s where your deepest healing lies. You are strong enough to face all of it. Know that by doing your work, you inspire others to realize that they can also do theirs, and keep on going. We really can start to cure the pain of the world just one person at a time. Your trauma matters. I love you!

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