Oooh, I know all about triggers. I sympathize. I have so much fire in my astrological chart that you would not believe it (if you happen to believe in those sort of things). I have a history of letting everything simmer and then getting heated at the least provocation when I finally need to release the tension.
I’ve gotten better at releasing frustration in healthy ways and not allowing it to build into resentment, but it’s tough not to react when people trigger me, even now. I think for the majority of us the hardest relationships to shift are those with our families. I know that my family can trigger me in a heartbeat if I let them – they invented my buttons and so they definitely know how to push them!
As with most areas of my life, I had a victim mentality around triggers for a very long time. People were taking advantage of me and my kindness. People didn’t appreciate me. No one really saw me for myself. People couldn’t stand it if I said no, so I would change myself to fit what they needed. I had no sense of control over any of it, and so I felt angry, bitter, resentful … you name it.
And then, when I finally allowed in the idea that I actually was, despite my denial, living in victimhood in practically every facet of my being … everything began to shift. It threw my perspective into complete disarray, and adjusting has not been an easy undertaking. I lived my entire life seeing everything through one lens and then over the course of just a few weeks came to understand that all of it was an ancient, self-defeating story that no longer existed. That’s a lot to take in.
Maybe you are working through your own transformation. Maybe you aren’t quite there yet, and that’s fine too. We can only be where we are meant to be on our path in this moment. I invite you to now to just consider whether you can actually be triggered when you decide not to allow it.
What if that’s the case? What if you really do control your life and your reality, rather than it being the other way around? What if you’ve been living in victim mode for so long that you, like me, don’t even realize that’s your situation?
Wouldn’t it be amazing to get to a place where no one could trigger you, because you are in charge of and control of your own emotions and reactions?
It’s a journey. I’m definitely working on this as I walk on my own healing path, and it’s something that comes up strongly for me, often. I have to breathe into it and remind myself constantly that I get to decide if I react to something in a certain way or not. Often it comes down to telling myself that the loss of my own peace and happiness simply isn’t worth getting upset. My triggers come from me, not them. Can you explore why you get triggered by certain people or certain actions? This is a real opportunity to get curious about yourself, your own history of trauma, and how you can move forward into lasting change.
So what if you only get triggered when you allow it? What if you step into an empowered place and take control of what your life looks like instead of letting the actions and behaviors of others determine how you feel?
Get curious, be compassionate with yourself, and above all, let yourself make mistakes. The healing journey isn’t about “doing it right”. It’s about sticking to your determination to evolve and grow no matter what the temporary setbacks. I have total faith that you can shift your beliefs around triggers.
You deserve to live a grounded, stable life where you make the decisions. You can shift into this. You are so strong and brave. I love you.