Not only is it okay, it’s actually a requirement if you want to live a truthful life that isn’t bogged down with someone else’s dreams, goals and realities.
When you say yes to opportunity just because it sounds good or others think you should do it, you continue a pattern of denying your own intuition. When you invalidate your truth and keep yourself from the purpose you are meant to have in your life, you can’t find satisfaction. Are you living for yourself or for other people? That’s the decision you have to make.
I know that this world guilts you into taking any chance that comes your way. I still have a very hard time saying no to something that looks like a great job/move/relationship/opportunity on paper. But when we do that, we are living in a world where we both project our expectations onto something and also deny what our true path may be. If we are so busy weighing ourselves down taking on projects that are not in our zone of genius, we miss out on listening in and finding out where our hearts really want to take us.
This is really hard to do when you’re always told to be grateful for everything that comes your way. People act like you’re crazy if you say no to anything that could bring you money, fame, recognition, upward mobility, whatever. Our world guilts us into thinking we can’t stop to contemplate anything – we just have to jump on it! No time to lose! Everything moves so quickly that we’ve developed constant FOMO.
Try to block out the noise, the opinions of others, the judging voices in your head that tell you what you “should” do. That information doesn’t come from your truth, your intrinsic longings and desires.
What’s personally helped me to understand the difference between what outside forces put upon me and what I truly want in my world? A lot of inner work. Meditation. Yoga. Breath work. Boundary work. Hypnotherapy (my personal favorite thing, it’s amazing). Bottom line, anything that drops me into presence and mindfulness. In order to tune in to your truth, you have to learn to first quiet every disruption that wants to interfere – and there are a lot of them! And they won’t go away – you’ll just learn how to ignore them more effectively, little by little.
If something doesn’t feel right when you are attuned and aligned with yourself, don’t do it. It doesn’t matter if it sounds like it’ll be good for your resumé. It doesn’t matter if your family and friends think you should. They aren’t you, and you are the person who has to live with your choices. Don’t make them for everyone but yourself.
It is not only okay to say no to opportunities that aren’t aligned, it’s actually necessary. You got this. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to find the life you are meant to embody. Your needs matter most. Sending love.