Chances are, you don’t spend a lot of time taking care of your own needs.

Most of us are guilty of this, myself most of all. We put ourselves last, figuring that there are so many tasks that we “have” to accomplish first that there’s no time at the end of the day for doing what fills us up.

And this is a mistake. It’s a very hard pattern to shift. I’m still struggling with it. I know that if I give myself space to meditate in the morning, I’m a better person afterwards. I’m calmer, and happier, and I actually have more ability to focus and get tasks done efficiently. In other words, if I put myself first instead of worrying so much about productivity, I’m actually more productive than I would have been otherwise. And yet, 9 times out of 10, I still don’t prioritize it.

When you spend a lifetime putting everything else possible ahead of yourself, it takes some time to believe that you are worthy of a change. You are so used to trying to please everyone, trying to be a model student, employee, partner, parent, etc etc etc. Honestly it exhausts me just to write this and think about all the roles that we are constantly trying to fill to perfection. No wonder you’re tired. It’s too much, and you are left drained and unsatisfied because you aren’t taking care of yourself.

What if you thought of your own needs and desires as the priority, instead of the errands and the chores and the work projects? What if you trusted that when you make sure you are feeling your best, the rest of it will follow naturally? Because it really will. When you ensure that you get what you need, you end up with more energy, more vitality, and most importantly, more positivity towards the rest of your life. You might even look forward to certain parts of your day instead of dreading them. It’s a massive shift in perspective. When you begin to nurture and listen to yourself, you start to trust that you can meet your own needs. That changes your mindset – you stop grasping at anything and everything else to make you feel worthy. You treat yourself like you are worthy regardless of what you accomplish – because you are. You are enough simply because you exist.

When you make a habit of giving yourself the love and care you truly deserve, your sense of self-worth grows. You feel stronger and more confident in your choices. You learn to listen to your intuition and cut out the areas of your life that just aren’t fulfilling you. And everything gets better.

Start choosing yourself in little ways every day. Commit to taking care of yourself in one way, then another, then another. Add self-care rituals in one at a time and notice how they make you feel, and use those positive results to encourage you to continue listening to your own needs. You’ve got this. You can make time for yourself if you decide that it’s a non-negotiable. You deserve this care and love from yourself, for yourself.

Make taking care of your own needs first a requirement, not an afterthought. You matter. I love you.