I pulled a card last night from a Goddess deck that said, “I spend my time wisely. I only say yes when it’s a holy hell yes.”
I love that sentiment – and it’s much needed right now, as I navigate uncertainty about next steps after I return to the States from Costa Rica. I would love to simply stay here and never go back, but that’s not what my life is calling for at this moment. I know that, but I want to resist the flow, because my stubborn inner child feels safer living in this bubble forever. But that doesn’t help me change and grow. It’s time for the next thing – for now. Perhaps life will bring me back here. I certainly hope so.
It’s scary to trust yourself enough to follow your holy hell yes. We aren’t taught to do this, to have faith in ourselves and our intuitions. When we grow up in family environments where our boundaries are violated or our truths are treated as false, we lose our sense of self. It is hard to follow a yes if you don’t even know what that feels like in your body.
I know that following your truth is easier said than done. You have to do some work beforehand if you are in a situation where you are quite disconnected from your body and spirit, for whatever reason. In order to embody your yes, you first need to tune in to what that feels like.
The good news is that your intuition is inherent within you. It might be dormant but it’s never gone! It’s there patiently waiting for you to uncover its simple beauty. There are many ways to get closer in touch with your inner knowing, but for me the most effective have been meditation and embodied movement. Whatever your preferred activity may be – yoga, dancing, running, surfing – find something that brings you out of your head and into your body. Personally I enjoy dancing, because I need something more freeing without too much structure in order to reconnect with self.
Another great option for getting into your intuition is using breathwork to bring yourself down out of your head and then meditating afterwards. Once you clear out all the extra shit with your breath, it’s easier to tune in and quiet the mind during meditation, so that your inner knowing can shine through instead.
The thing is, even when you feel unsure of a decision … deep down, your body knows. You just have to start paying attention to it instead of the fear and anxiety that rises and wants to control you. I lived in victim mode for so long, confused about what I wanted, because my brain was trying to protect me with this same anxiety and fear – keeping me stuck, keeping me in the same outdated patterns that weren’t serving me. Even now, knowing this, it’s difficult to stick to the new habits. You have to establish new paths within you, because the old ways are so strong. It’ll take time, but it’s the only way to get through.
You have the ability to exercise the muscles that connect you with your intuition and your own “holy hell yes”. You can get there, I promise! It’s a great feeling once you start getting those glimmerings in your body, those physical reactions to decisions that literally tell you everything you need to know about what to do. Once it starts happening, it always changes your life for the better. You have the knowing within you – and you have the power to find it again. Sending you luck and love on your journey!