There is such a negative connotation around being angry – especially if you identify as a woman. Don’t even get me started. The gaslighting that has occurred since the beginning of humanity towards any female who tries to express her anger, regardless of the form of expression, is almost stupefying. No wonder we so often turn to art as an outlet for the centuries of generational trauma, well aware that it may be one of the only socially “acceptable” ways to release it, tired of the pressure to keep our emotions under wraps.
Suppressing healthy anger is just as damaging as suppressing any other emotion, but we are told that we should. To be clear, healthy anger is that which when expressed is simply a release for us that does not harm or traumatize another. I’m not speaking of the deeply harmful, patriarchal idea of anger which is often released in a violent or trauma-inducing manner. This lack of regard for the safety and well-being of others when expressing an emotion is never okay. The widespread societal acceptance of the horrifying and damaging ways in which people – primarily men – “blow off steam” needs to be shifted. No, it is not okay to shit all over other people just because in your eyes, you’re having a bad day. It is time to stand up both for the right to express our anger healthily and against expressing it toxically.
Can we all finally get wise to the fact that there is no such thing as a “bad” emotion? That emotions are what they are? That they come and go fluidly, if we can learn to allow it, and that it’s absolutely okay to feel anything that comes up?
We don’t want to feel anything that seems heavy or ugly, but the fact is that we are all made up of dark and light, shadow and sunshine, yin and yang. It’s called balance. The sooner we learn to accept all the pieces of ourselves, the faster we move towards contentment.
There is nothing wrong with feeling angry. We are allowed to embrace our rage and process it, in whatever way we can do so that does not harm others. Let’s shift the narrative around what it means to be angry by understand that there are appropriate and healthy ways to release it. Let’s stop labeling people as “angry” as if it’s an ugly quality. Anger is just another of many emotions. It does not define anyone. Broaden your mind. Look at the bigger picture.
You are safe to feel your anger and any other emotions that come up. They do not define who you are. You are allowed to own and process your feelings. They exist and therefore they are okay. Your truth is not wrong. You matter and your emotions are valid. I love you.