Hi there strangers! It’s been a while.
I was on a trip, with someone who has been a travel buddy of mine for several years now. We actually only see each other for these excursions – we live across the country from each other. Once upon a time, we got along alright. Well enough to spend two weeks straight together without any dead bodies as an end result.
But I’ve changed a lot over those years, and he really hasn’t much. That’s the tough thing about relationships – oftentimes, one person is either in a different spot on their path towards growth, or as in this case, basically on a different planet. I am very interested in personal development and evolution and he is quite happy to stay exactly where he is, static and unchanging.
And that’s fine – that’s his choice. But as I become more and more aware of who I am and what I want, I’m also increasingly aware that we have barely anything in common. Sure, we both like to travel, get outside, hike and backpack. We both like adventure. But below the surface, there’s nothing there … and I can’t pretend anymore that it works for me. It’s not fair to keep going on trips just because it’s convenient for me, when in reality I can hardly stand to look this person in the face.
Sometimes relationships run their course and people need to go their separate ways. I’m very grateful for everything I’ve seen and experienced because of our travel together. At the same time, I’ve known deep down for a long while that it’s time to end things – and there’s definite conflict that arises from me not being true to my inner knowing.
It’s okay to end a relationship, even if it’s with a family member, when you know in your bones that it’s just not working. Sure, do your best to bridge the gap if the person is important to you. If they’re responsive, maybe you can transform your dynamic into something that can grow with the way both of you are changing. Unfortunately, though, not everyone is willing to put in the work. Not all relationships feel worth the work. Sometimes whatever you had before has run its course, and that’s okay. Endings aren’t bad, they’re just something that happens as we journey through life.
Evaluate any areas of relationship where you feel stuck, funky, or unhappy. Are you unable to be fully yourself in these relationships? Why? Is there potential for change, or does your intuition tell you it’s time to move on? Listen to the wisdom that lives within you. It knows.
I know that ending relationships can feel awful, but if you do so with compassion, understanding and respect for everyone involved (including yourself), you can get through it. By doing so, you make room for those who fit into the life that you are living now and who allow you to embody all of yourself. You got this. Sending you all the love.