Are you someone who gets ashamed and frustrated when you make mistakes?
Trust me, I’m in the same position. Committing to a decision that doesn’t work out the way you hoped never feels good. When it involves loss of some sort, it feels even worse. Sometimes you take a risk and it doesn’t pay off – that’s life. We can’t always control that sort of thing, but we can control how we react to it and how we learn from it in the future.
The quickest way to repeat mistakes is to deny them. When we get defensive or place blame elsewhere because our ego is bruised, we miss a valuable opportunity to learn and grow from what’s happened. If we can have the strength and humility to sit with anything that doesn’t work out for us and marinate on how we can shift that path for ourselves in the future, our mistakes are just a necessary blip on our life’s journey. If we brush them aside, ignore them, and suppress them, we are almost guaranteed to keep on cycling through the same issues until we finally learn to do something differently.
We first have to let go of shame around mistakes. This can be difficult in a world where we are taught to believe that we must strive for some unattainable ideal of perfection. That’s not how life works, honestly, and the sooner we accept our humanity, the happier we will be. If we are stuck feeling ashamed and embarrassed, we cannot adequately and maturely process what went wrong.
We also have an opportunity to shift our perspective. What if nothing is a mistake at all, but simply a redirection from the universe? A nudge to show us that we aren’t tuned into ourselves and what we truly need? It’s so easy to get distracted from our inner knowing, to make decisions based on what we think looks or sounds good. On the opinions of others. On some societal concept of what makes us valuable, worthy, or special.
If we stop framing things as mistakes, we can begin to shed any preconceived notions we have about how we “should” be moving through life. The truth is that errors, missteps, choices that don’t work out as we envision – they are not only inevitable, they are necessary for growth and change. What would you learn if you did everything perfectly the first time?
I do know it can become disheartening when it feels like nothing is working out in your favor. We all go through those spells. The best action that we can take is to stop, pause, observe, and sit with what’s going on inside ourselves. What’s the blockage? Where can we shift? What isn’t making sense, and what can we do to adjust into something that does? Part of learning from the mistake is taking the time to integrate it and understand it.
So sit. Breathe. Listen to your body, and feel into what it’s telling you. There is wisdom in all of us if we get quiet enough to hear it. It takes courage and maturity to embrace and embody our mistakes so that we can have a better future because we really learned from them instead of pushing them away.
You’ve got this! Sometimes it feels tough to admit we are wrong, but the more we accept our own humanity, the more we can encourage and lift others up to do the same. Sending you lots of love on your beautiful and unique journey.