Do you get impatient with yourself on your journey? I know I do. I’m so afraid that I’ll never figure things out if I don’t do it immediately. I’m even impatient when I meditate. I asked a question, why isn’t an answer coming through yet?
For me, this behavior to a deep-rooted insecurity and lack of trust in myself. I was taught that I couldn’t trust myself as a kid, and then reinforced that belief through self-sabotage for most of my life. Now, it’s another pattern I’m trying to break – and that process too requires patience. I try to have compassion for myself, knowing that my impatience is rooted in fear of the unknown. I’ve felt like I don’t have it figured out for so long, I’m truly scared that I never will.
I am learning that it’s not necessarily about figuring anything out, but about letting yourself move through the process of life. Maybe I’ll never feel like I know what’s going on, but as long as I keep taking action and learning, I can’t do anything wrong. I will either move in alignment, or the universe will give me nudges to show me where I need to course correct. There’s nowhere to be but where I’m meant to be.
You may ask, if I know all this, why the fear? Why the impatience? We can intellectually understand something and our nervous systems might still not believe it. If we have lived in fight-or-flight mode for a long time, it’s not that simple to casually stop. It takes rewiring, repatterning, reprogramming, which takes … patience. Yes, it all comes back to patience. Patience with ourselves. Patience with our process. Patience with life.
The best trick I’ve found for trusting and staying in my journey without rushing is mindfulness. When you are in the present, you cannot be worried about the future. You are living right where you are, the only moment that is real. Nothing after that moment is guaranteed, so it’s a fantasy anyway. Your survival brain wants to keep you scared and small. I’m telling you, it’s pointless. Enjoy the time that you have and trust that it will all work itself out.
Stay present. Breathe. Don’t feel the need to rush to the end just to make sure that everything turns out okay. When you get there, you won’t remember what happened along the way because you were so worried the entire time!
Make the effort to love and trust yourself. Know that you’re capable. Know that you will figure it all out as it comes. You’ve got this. Enjoy the moment.