We talk a lot about tuning in to intuition. But what about the common and less-addressed problem of hearing your intuition and ignoring it anyway?
Yes, it is still a victory to feel the yearnings of your heart. You may have been disconnected from yourself for so long that you had no idea what you really wanted or needed. It is a victory to be aware and present with your body, to know what it asks. But that doesn’t mean your journey is over.
It doesn’t help much if you hear the truth and you still avoid what you’re being told. It can actually feel worse, because now you’re aware that you’re actively ignoring your intuition’s signals. The universe will send you nudges, then shoves, then full-on body slams, to bring you back in line with yourself. And yet, your fear, anxiety and doubt might still win out. It’s crazy but it’s true. Your survival instincts and learned patterns are strong as hell! If your mind is used to having control, it won’t relinquish that so easily. You have to develop the courage and tools to move forward into your truth.
I’ll share my own current example. I’ve steadily worked on getting back in tune with my body, intuition, and spirit for the past two years. I worked abroad for six months last year, and then returned to the States and stayed for six months while renewing my passport, traveling, and doing some seasonal work. I kept changing locations and kept coming up against different issues, mostly obstacles to starting my own business online.
I believe – no, I know – that this is happening because I need to take a leap and find a space where I can live and work efficiently on my own schedule. Not a place where I’m doing a work exchange. Not constantly jumping around while traveling. Not living in someone else’s home where I can’t get the time, peace or Wifi connection to establish myself. Basically, not half-assing my commitment to what I’m trying to accomplish. I spent six months knowing I was doing just that, but afraid to spend too much money, afraid that I wouldn’t be able to figure it out, afraid that I would fail miserably and end up broke and stranded.
Guess what? I’m still doing it, and I’m still having the same issues. It’s not that I’m in a bad situation – living in Costa Rica and teaching yoga is amazing – but it’s that I know in my heart I’m not doing what I’m meant to be doing. I’m not utilizing my deepest skills or building my dreams. I’m not stepping into my dharma. I keep looking for other ways, even while I already know.
So, know that you’re not alone in your struggle. Know that it’s a process and it takes daily work. Also know that you’ll never really understand what you can achieve until you truly go all in. I’m reminding you and myself at the same time! Ask yourself, am I disconnected from what I want? Or do I already know, and am avoiding it? Why am I doing that? This is how you start to identify the obstacles in your way. This is how you begin to shift them.
Sending you so much love! You’ve got this. I’m proud of you and the work you are doing. Thank you for walking this path with me.