What If Your Anger Is Killing You?

I was once that person, consumed by anger and bitterness, with no idea how to change.

I felt rage, helplessness, and futility in every area of my life. Family. Romantic relationships. Partnerships. Work. Career. Even my body – I was angry at it for not looking the way I wanted, no matter what I did. So much anger inside me, eating me alive.

Looking back, I’m lucky that I stayed relatively physically healthy despite all this toxicity inside me. I didn’t develop cancer or any other serious conditions, which I very well could have. I had all the elements that cause dis-ease: anxiety, depression, anger, jealousy, bitterness, shame, guilt. My emotions ran my life, and I was lost at sea in them.

What I did have was a viciously imbalanced nervous system and an unbearable weight of hopelessness weighting me down. The day that I finally realized my anger was truly hurting no one but me – that day started an important shift in my life.

I began reminding myself of this simple fact when a customer upset me at my job, or when someone cut me off on the freeway. It was the little interactions, but it was a significant change. These many small encounters throughout the day meant that I was building up a lot of resentment and bitterness inside. Once I began to quiet my reactions, I also began to free up my energy.

I won’t pretend that this journey towards letting go of anger is easy or quick. I know all too well the detriment that it’s had on my life – and still, it’s been several years of deep inner work to get to where I am now. It’s taken hours upon hours of utilizing as many modalities as you can imagine. On the bright side, I’d do it all again ten times over. The transformation is that significant. I hardly recognize myself when I compare how I used to operate in the world with my current energy.

I am so incredibly grateful to be on this path towards a better life. As I move towards my true, inner nature, I have learned to let go of my anger, little by little. Is it entirely gone? No. I still have some deep childhood wounding and trauma to work through. But – I am proud to say that I do a damn good job of not taking on new anger. I’m in a very grounded, peaceful and centered place in life. And it feels incredible.

Your anger isn’t hurting the other person. Most of the time, they don’t even notice it. It’s only killing you, slowly, from the inside out. You deserve better than that from yourself. You deserve to live in a world of love, peace, and happiness. It is possible. If I can do it, I know that you can too. Sending you warm hugs and a lot of love.

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