Have you ever suppressed something you felt strongly about because you thought others would judge you for it? Even if following your own preferences would bring you happiness and peace? I think we all have.
Sometimes you might even do so if it’s a quality that you have preconceived notions about and thus don’t want to be part of your life. For instance, I tried to deny the fact that I need a home with strong internet for months. I had certain ideas about the kind of person who is overly concerned with her Wifi. I didn’t want to be that person. Once I admitted it to myself and got over my self-judgment, everything in my life progressed more smoothly. But it took a minute.
I’m bumping up against that self-judgment again as I enter the rainy season in Costa Rica. As much as I love it here, I know myself. I know that I wouldn’t last a month with torrential downpours for the majority of the day. It’s just not who I am – I want the freedom to be outside and roam without constriction. That’s how I’ve always been. And yet, I hate to admit it to others – because they might judge me for it. Rather than feeling silly, I get curious – why do I feel this way? As someone who usually cares very little about what anyone thinks, why does something that small and trivial affect me this way?
So I choose to let it go. To notice the feeling, ask myself why, and let it pass through. And then fully own the fact that I don’t like living in the rain, and that’s okay! I don’t like the cold or the snow either, and that’s okay too. There’s a reason I’m nomadic. It suits me to shift where I live in accordance with the seasons. It would be ridiculous to suffer through something I hate just because I was worried about the opinions of others. Let’s be real, if they are taking the time to judge me over something like that, I don’t want them around.
Do you honor what you know to be true for you? Or do you keep yourself in a box, constricting your own joy because of societal norms? Don’t do it. Life is far too short to force yourself into unhappiness for foolish reasons. Honor who you are. Allow it. Celebrate it. There’s no shame in being your true self.
Sending you love.