What If You Are Only As Old As You Decide To Be?

They always say, “you’re only as old as you feel”. But in a society riddled with discrimination and ageism, it’s hard not to feel … older than you actually are! Yes, time is a construct and age is nothing but a number. Doesn’t stop us from mind-fucking ourselves.

I get self-conscious sometimes now that I’m a bit older. I am more confident and grounded than I’ve ever been, but I still let the destructive thoughts creep in once in a while. I’m only human. I relate more to people who are younger than me, with a similar lifestyle to my own. I’m single, I don’t have kids, and I deeply value my independence. Most my age are in a different place in their lives. That’s cool – but I’ll be honest, I don’t want to hang out and talk about their children. This means I naturally gravitate towards those who are still unfettered by responsibility. Usually it doesn’t feel weird, but sometimes I definitely notice the age gap.

Last night I went to my first concert since before the pandemic. It was perfect timing! As I danced, jumped, and sang along, I remembered that I’m allowed to be as vibrant, alive and full of energy as I please. I don’t need to act a certain way because I’m getting older. I get to do whatever the fuck I want. Who cares if someone else judges me? Am I going to allow a stranger to dictate how much I enjoy my life? I don’t think so. It’s not worth caring. Not when I have so much light to shine.

If I’m honest, I feel like I’m 25, but with the experience and learned lessons of my mid-thirties. That’s pretty awesome. What better scenario could there be? I’ve grown and changed so much, but I still feel free and alive. I’m realizing that I actually am living the dream. My own dream. There’s no happier feeling.

Don’t let anyone else decide how you get to live your life. Be who you are. Feel the way you want to feel. Discard the idea that your age decides how you move through this world. Life is just too short! Sending you love.

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