Do you tend to sabotage yourself when it’s all going well?
One of my favorite authors Gay Hendricks has a name for this. He calls it Upper Limiting. When we achieve more happiness than we have ever had, we may not know how to deal with it. We may not even believe we deserve it. So, we limit ourselves from feeling more than we’ve experienced before. We actually sabotage our own positive vibes.
I’ll give you a subtle example. Right after I finished the book where he describes this behavior, I was on a hike. It was a beautiful day. I had absolutely nothing to complain about, nothing going wrong in my life. So what happened? While I was hiking, I started thinking about my ex-boyfriend. I reminisced about our good times together and began feeling melancholy. Then I stopped and thought, oh, shit. This is it. I’m Upper Limiting myself right now. I was perfectly happy and it actually made me uncomfortable, so I brought in thoughts to bring me down to what feels “normal”. Damn.
Upper Limiting can come in large or small forms. The common thread is that we actually fear whatever we aren’t used to – even when it’s good. If we have happiness, love, success, peace… well, then we can also lose it. That scares us, so we actually tend to keep ourselves right where we are – even if we aren’t necessarily happy there. We’re comfortable. That feels more important.
It is much easier to develop awareness of the habit than to shift it. On the other hand, we can’t shift anything we don’t notice. So, awareness is important. When we become present to how we keep ourselves from reaching higher levels of happiness and success, only then can we find ways of changing.
When something is working for you, let it. Don’t make life difficult for no reason! It’s time to learn to allow good things into your world, and learn to believe you deserve them. Move past your comfort zone into uncharted territory. It’s the only way to truly level up.
You’ve got this. If you’re interested in learning more, I recommend reading The Big Leap! Sending you love.