This whole world is suffering from an overwhelming case of imposter syndrome.
If someone actually asked you if you think you deserve what you want, what would you say? I mean, maybe you think that you deserve some of the smaller items. But the big dreams? Those that you don’t allow yourself to mention to anyone because you feel embarrassed to even hope for them? You probably feel that way because you don’t believe that you are worthy of them.
The truth is that most people don’t believe that they deserve what they want. Think about that for a moment. Do you look at others and think, wow, that person really doesn’t deserve their dreams and goals? I would guess probably not, unless you have a poor opinion of them for some reason. So why do you feel that way about yourself?
Let me propose something revolutionary – believing that you deserve what you want does not make you cocky, or arrogant, or selfish. Most of us are afraid to believe in ourselves because that both opens us up to the possibility of failure and the judgment of others. We worry about what people will say if we boldly state that we are actually going to get what we want. We also worry that if we do put it out there and we aren’t able to achieve it, those same people will smile smugly to themselves at our defeat.
Why do we care so fucking much what everyone else thinks of it? They aren’t living our lives. Most of the time, we barely know the people we’re so worried about. Maybe we don’t know them at all – maybe we are afraid about some vague idea of “the world” or “society” or “everyone”. I would like to gently remind you that most people are so wrapped up in their own worries and lives that they don’t have time to look at yours. If they do waste all their time criticizing and judging others, know that they are probably miserable and stuck. We transfer our judgment to those outside of ourselves when we don’t like looking too deeply into our own shit. I know because I used to be that person, trying to make myself feel better by looking down on those around me. It’s no way to live, and it doesn’t make you feel good. If I were you, I would give absolutely no weight to the opinion of someone like Former Me. She didn’t even mean any of it – she just desperately wanted a way to feel better about herself.
You can have compassion for the judgmental people of the world – compassion for their pain, confusion, and dissatisfaction. That doesn’t mean that you pay any attention to their opinions. You are a beautiful, precious being on this planet. You have your hopes and dreams for a reason. How could you not be worthy of them? They wouldn’t exist inside you if that were the case. What you want doesn’t come randomly. It has meaning. You have meaning, and purpose. You are here to fulfill all those wild, grand dreams that live within you.
I know it’s not so simple as to suddenly believe that you deserve everything possible. It takes time, and work. You are most likely suffering from a lack of self-love, self-trust, and self-worth. The good news is, all you need to do is work on loving yourself. The trust and worth will follow along naturally. The bad news? Learning to love yourself might be the hardest thing you ever do in your life. It’ll be a constant journey that, while infinitely rewarding, is bound to include setbacks.
More good news, though – once you learn to do it, achieving your goals will seem easy in comparison! Once you know yourself and trust yourself, everything else gets easier. Not perfect, but much, much easier. I have faith that you can learn to believe you deserve what you want – because you DO. You are the only you in this world and you deserve to have whatever will make your life wonderful. You aren’t here to live in misery. This I know.
Sending you strength, determination, compassion and joy. You’ve got this. I love you.