Sometimes life feels really unfair and confusing.
I’m experiencing that lately – not that anything bad is specifically happening to me, but unfortunately rather that the people around me are experiencing crises and I’m the only one left to take the brunt of the responsibility in the aftermath of it all. So while I feel like I shouldn’t complain, as my compatriots are dealing with much worse, I also have my own needs that aren’t being met. I’m stretched thin and I feel like I’m not allowed to be upset about it.
I am for sure having trouble leaning into this lesson. I’m trying, but it doesn’t feel good. I keep thinking, ok, this whole journey in Costa Rica definitely hasn’t been what I thought it would be. Why is there some new obstacle at every turn? What is this teaching me?
Leaning into the lesson doesn’t mean that you’ll understand it right away. It just means that you accept what’s coming in stride, listen to your intuition, and do your best to speak your truth even when it’s uncomfortable for you. There’s a lesson in everything, yes, but you won’t always know what it is right up front. Try to trust the universe and go along for the ride with as much presence and mindfulness as you can.
That’s all I know to do right now – I’m not sure what I’m learning, or what mistakes I’m still making, but I’m trying to listen and understand. I’m trying to let go and release my need to be saved by someone or something outside of myself. The truth is that’s not going to happen, so it’s time to take care of me. I can’t control much, but I can control my choices, decisions, and reactions.
Lean into the lesson. It’s here for you, not against you. I promise you that, even though it sometimes doesn’t feel like it. It’s just that the lesson keeps repeating itself over and over until you get the message … so sometimes it’s frustrating. Do what you can to soften and show yourself some compassion. You can do hard things. You really can. You are strong, you are amazing, and I love you.